Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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