I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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