How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize