hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
