So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
