Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
