Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
