Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
