What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
