when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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