your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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