i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Blood and glitter go together right?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
