i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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