I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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