you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
