good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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