they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
