Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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