we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
