That's when you crack a 10am beer
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
