Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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