did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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