You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
