My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
