If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
