YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
