Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
