Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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