He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Randomize
