either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
