Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
