Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it because I queefed?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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