That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
