Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
