Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
