So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My penis needs a shock collar
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
