My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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