You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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