Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
