But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
