I faked an abortion last night.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
