sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just found a bag of teeth...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
