I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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