i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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