is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
