the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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