Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
is it fun? or sober?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
