I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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