So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
where does the pee come out of this thing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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