I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
