This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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