Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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