im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
