it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
