I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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