If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
