I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
