Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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