i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
