we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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