Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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