Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
