pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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